The Love Dare: Day Three

Love is not selfish.



Today's dare was "Its hard to care for something you aren't investing your time, energy, or money in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

Being a stay at home mom that never has a dime to her name this one was difficult. I am still pondering it to be honest. I thought about just giving him a nice massage tonight. I don't know. I am so tired. I need to figure out something. I have been nicer lately. I have been thinking of him first. I have been trying to put his needs first. We haven't argued or fought. We have both been considerate of one another. A lot more than we ever have.

Anyway, I don't really have time to post anything more...Bethany won't stop screaming and its driving me insane. I'll try again tomorrow. :)

The Love Dare: Day Two

Day Two

Love is Kind.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. ~Ephesians 4:32



Today's dare was to not only refrain from negative words or actions, but also to perform an act of kindness. I am only on day two, and I am really watching and realizing JUST HOW BAD I have treated not only James, but everyone around me. My relationships with other people just don't live up to par considering what they could be. I could do so much more in my life, just with a little thought and consideration about how I interact with others.

So anyway, today I didn't really know what to do. I still have plans for this evening, but so far I pretty much have done what I normally would do for him. Only this time, without grumbling or complaining. I helped him with dinner, I did whatever he needed me to do. I tried to put him first. Also...I helped him study, which I have NEVER done before. He picked up on all that information really really fast. He is so so smart.

That's another thing, too. You notice things you normally wouldn't see when you are doing this dare. Normally I wouldn't give it a second thought. Yesterday I missed James so bad I couldn't stand it. Then today, I realized just what a great wonderful awesome dad he is. And how much I need him in my life. I also realized how smart he is, how helpful he is...how comfortable I am being myself around him...so many things I love about him and so many reasons too. I can only see this dare getting better from here. It's truly life altering. Heart altering too.

The Love Dare: Day One

Love is Patient.

Be completely humble and gentle;be patient, bearing with one another in love. ~Ephesians 4:2 NIV

This was pretty easy today. We had such a good night going to the Fireproof movie that we are seeing each other a lil differently. He even turned off the playstation to be with me a while. I have had to check what I have been saying, just to make sure there was nothing negative slipping through while I wasn't paying attention. I tend to let my mouth fly off like that. I think that this movie and the book are both changing our lives. I hope so anyway. I want to be better.

We had an awesome night. We bought books, and went to dinner. We got books at Borders. Including a GED Book for me to study for the TABE exam for college. I am so excited! Also, we went to see Fireproof. That movie was INCREDIBLE. It not only paved the way to transform how James and I reacted to each other, but it has changed my outlook on life. I want to be better. I want to act better. I want to be a better Christian, a better wife, and a better mother. I have a whole lot of learning to do.

But...James asked me..."Are you going to leave that book out so I can read it too?" Speaking of the Love Dare book. I was irritable, after watching him come straight home and play playstation for two hours and then tell me "just one more round of golf" which honestly lasts about 2 1/2 hrs...and it was already midnight...I said something I shouldn't have, and then went to my room to cry. I said "Why should I? You wouldn't get off your PS3 long enough to participate." OH there is so much work to do with me. Pray for me, would you?

A rummage sale. In October. In cold cold, windy weather. Did I mention it rained yesterday? Oh, and the leaves are covering the ground making it just shy of being a waterslide on the lil hill in my front yard. Slippery, yes. And very hard for a 2 year old to conquer. I am TIRED and sore and COLD! I say this every year...never again will I have a yard sale! This year I mean it! Til next year anyway.

Every year, my mom, my aunt, my kids and my cousin all come over to my house and throw out a yard sale. This year, everything was 10 cents. Everything...AHHH! Yardsales suck. I need to clean my house so bad too. I know KNow KNOW that if I start cleaning I will get warm. I also know that I am too lazy at the moment and I am too cold to want to try it. I just want to sit here like a knot on a log. And watch the dogs dig in the bags of rummage stuff outside and spread it all over my yard. :/

I can't stand dogs right now. I ran outside and said "git" and they all looked at me as if I were saying "greetings earthlings" and carried on with their business. Lil heifers. Oh, and now that the yard sale is over and the dogs are eating all the leftovers, the sun comes out. Ha. Ha. I wish these dogs would GO AWAY! The neighbors all let them roam free like wild animals and they won't leave my yard! Grr. Oh, and I just watched one pee on the bikes. Ha. Ha. again.

I have to clean. I have to study. I have to watch lil sticky fingered children as they demolish the inside of my house. I have have have to..this n that. The list never ends. I also need to read my Sunday School lesson before tomorrow morning. Cause I can't miss church. I need church like i need air. It's helping me, immensely. Along with all these blogs I am reading....those are helping me grow closer to the Lord and the way I should be, instead of the way I am.

On a lovely brighter note...I scored the WHOLE set of Left Behind books. My mom was SELLING THEM FOR 10 CENTS! Yes...yes she was. TEN CENTS. So I scurried on over and snatched them up and scurried myself back into the house with them! Mine mine mine mine. mine. Now, Joshy is outside gathering up dogs. Haha. My mom must have called him to ask him when his mom was picking the stuff up cause the dogs are tryin to eat it. LOL! He's such a cute kid. I hope mine grow up as cute as these guys around here.

Joshy is our neighbor kid. He runs around on his four wheeler with his sister. With a raccoon on the front. haha. Well. My grandma is here...gotta go.

tick tock

I have NO TIME! to blog today...so I dub this FRAZZLED OUT FRIDAY!!! I will TRY to come back tomorrow!

~a lil while later~
I found the time! for a second, anyway. My dear James is still at work. My dear son is at his grandmas, and my dear daughter is asleep in the recliner, after watching Harry Potter for I don't know how long. I am so stressed. I told James that my brain was like a traffic jam. There are so many thoughts trying to fit through a tiny space, and that space keeps getting smaller and all my thoughts just freeze. Nothing seems to work anymore.

So he and I aren't getting along again. For now. We will both be over it soon. I am over it already, but I can't let him know that cause I am stubborn. Does that make me mean? I guess I keep it going by doing that. I have never been one to swallow my pride or give up too easily. But all I wanted was one simple tiny lil thing, and he was so hateful about it. And I asked nicely for so long. I get so tired of asking when I really REALLY need something and he just didn't care. So we ended up in an argument over it. All he had to do was make one lil phone call.

Anyway. I need to learn how to deal with things better. I should have just prayed that he would make that phone call I so desperately wanted him to make. I should have just waited. I don't know. But I can only handle so much. I need relationship counseling because I really don't know how to deal with anyone in my life. I am terrible with other people. What can I do???

I am trying SO hard to be a better person. I want to make things work for me and my family and all those around me. I want my family to be happy. But there are times when I just break. I take so much and then I snap. I don't know how to control my mouth or thoughts. It's something I must practice. Does anyone have any tips? I need a mentor!

Thankful Thursday?

Not so much. I have been cranky. But its been a good day. I really don't feel like writing here. Its that time again. Bloating,cramps, and an altogether bad attitude. That's me. We took the kids to BK today..we went to the Dollar Tree and they spent ALOT on toys...then we came home. The kids played a while.

James and I went to eat at Trailhead Steakhouse today. OMG It was delicious. I loved it. Our lovely waitress goes to church with me. She's such a doll. I remember her when she was SO lil. All these kids are growing up so fast!! The Trailhead was a lil expensive, but WOW the place is so beautiful on the inside. Gorgeous.

Anyway...I don't wanna be here typing...I have things 2 do...so buh bye bye...