The Love Dare: Day Five

Love is not Rude.

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. ~Proverbs 27:14

Today's dare was harder than the rest so far. It was "Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behaviour. This is from their perspective only." I did this. It was almost unnerving how quickly he came back with three specific things that he disliked about me and my actions.

One thing that stuck out about the three things he asked of me was this...they were all things that should be common courtesy, but I was neglecting to show him the respect of giving him these courtesies. It says here in "The Love Dare" there are three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:
1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31).
2. No double standards. Be considerate of your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3. Honor requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

To be brutally honest...I haven't shown James the respect he deserves. I haven't been careful of how I treat him and how I speak to him. I don't guard his self worth or self esteem. I haven't been a blessing. It says in the book "Will you dare to be delightful?" My question is.."Do I have the ability to be delightful?

I let stress get to me and I am just plain ugly and unpleasant to be around. "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" (Proverbs 25:24). Two main reasons of being rude and inconsiderate...ignorance and selfishness. I am not so much ignorant as I am selfish. What a terrible terrible way to be. I have to seek help. I must honor him and treat him as he deserves to be treated. He doesn't deserve to be hurt...

This book has made me THINK about how I am like never before. I am examining the areas of my life and of myself that need work, and I am learning how to make that change...or let God change it for me. It's truly a blessing to my life and my relationships.